Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
