So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
