and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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