when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
