i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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