Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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