saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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