Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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