Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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