I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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