How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
