I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
