Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
