Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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