It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
