bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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