We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
