well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So many bounce houses so little time
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
