So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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