Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
