My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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