He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
