I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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