Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
