He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
