i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sext me about skeletons
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