I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
