all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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