I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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