Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
