I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
