The maid of honor just puked.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
