Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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