haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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