He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
