my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
