Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
