she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
