just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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