at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
