32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
