I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm like, not good at living.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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