no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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