TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
