no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
