I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
