There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
