I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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