i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
