i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's never too late to be topless.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
