you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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